I’ve been paying child support to my ex-wife for the past 15 years. I’ve always paid on time and I’ve never had any complaints from her. My oldest son just turned 19 and he’ll be starting his sophomore year in college in the fall. I don’t see anything in my divorce decree that says when I can stop paying support for him. Since I’ve still got two more kids to put through college I’m hoping I can reduce my bill to my ex- so that I have a little bit more money to pay those ever-increasing tuition bills. My ex- says that when we went through the divorce, her lawyer told her that I had to keep paying for each kid until he turned 22. My friend said I could stop at 18. What’s the right answer?
Every state has different rules about how long parents can be obligated to make support payments for their children. Many end support at age 18; others allow support to continue as the children attend college.
Your former wife probably was told that support continued until age 22, because that was the law in Missouri until two years ago. Now the outer limit is 21. But that’s not the whole story.
All children are entitled to support until at least age 18, unless they get married or join the armed forces first. If a child continues to pursue a high school diploma, that support will continue until the child receives that diploma or turns 21.
If the child goes on to college immediately after high school, however, the support obligation continues as long as the child follows a few simple rules: the child must enroll for at least 12 hours of credit each semester and must attain passing grades in at least six hours of course work. The child must also provide copies of enrollment information prior to each term and grades at the end of each term to the parent making the support payments. (The parents can’t get this information on their own because children who are at least 18 years of age are considered adults and the schools are therefore not permitted to release their information to anyone without the child’s consent.) If the child is employed for at least 15 hours per week then the he or she need only take nine hours of classes each semester.
Once the child reaches age 21, however, the support ends. The support will end sooner if the child gets married or doesn’t follow the rules we just discussed.
Of course there is nothing stopping you from continuing to support your children, either directly or through your ex-wife, for as long as you want. It’s just that a court can’t make you send that support check once your child turns 21.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Desertion
My wife and I have been having a lot of problems over the last couple of years and things have only gotten worse in the last few months. We are constantly arguing and, aside from the fact that the tension is almost unbearable and I’m having trouble sleeping, I’m really concerned about the effect all of this is having on our two kids. I’d like to move out of the house but I’m afraid if I do that I will be accused of deserting my family and that I may lose rights to my kids. What can I do?
Sometimes the best thing you can do for the health of your family is to create some space between you and your spouse. Even though divorce is bad for children, psychologists tell us that open conflict is even worse. Many people facing this problem come to us expressing concern over whether or not moving out will be seen by the courts as “abandonment” of their families.
In Missouri, as in most states, one spouse doesn’t need to accuse the other one of any wrongdoing to get a divorce. In a “no fault” divorce, the only requirement is that the marriage be “irretrievably broken” because of “irreconcilable differences.” In plain English that means that if you want to end your marriage, a court will let you do that. Before no fault divorce came along, you couldn’t get a divorce unless you could convince a judge that your spouse had committed some bad act, such as adultery, cruelty, or abandonment.
That doesn’t mean, however, that you should leave your home without considering the consequences and doing some planning. If you are the primary breadwinner in your family you should try to work things out with your spouse so that the household bills continue to be paid and so there is money available to buy groceries and other necessities. At the same time, you will want to make arrangements to ensure you have regular contact with the children, ideally on a predictable schedule. You don’t want to be constantly negotiating over when you will have the kids in your care.
If both spouses are employed, it makes sense to come up with some means of sharing the income and dividing up the bills during your separation. It won’t do anyone any good to have your credit ratings go down the drain because you couldn’t agree who would be paying the cable bill.
Finally, it’s always a good idea to go over your concerns with an attorney experienced in divorce law before making your move. The more planning you do, the better chance you have of keeping your sanity as you go through your divorce.
Sometimes the best thing you can do for the health of your family is to create some space between you and your spouse. Even though divorce is bad for children, psychologists tell us that open conflict is even worse. Many people facing this problem come to us expressing concern over whether or not moving out will be seen by the courts as “abandonment” of their families.
In Missouri, as in most states, one spouse doesn’t need to accuse the other one of any wrongdoing to get a divorce. In a “no fault” divorce, the only requirement is that the marriage be “irretrievably broken” because of “irreconcilable differences.” In plain English that means that if you want to end your marriage, a court will let you do that. Before no fault divorce came along, you couldn’t get a divorce unless you could convince a judge that your spouse had committed some bad act, such as adultery, cruelty, or abandonment.
That doesn’t mean, however, that you should leave your home without considering the consequences and doing some planning. If you are the primary breadwinner in your family you should try to work things out with your spouse so that the household bills continue to be paid and so there is money available to buy groceries and other necessities. At the same time, you will want to make arrangements to ensure you have regular contact with the children, ideally on a predictable schedule. You don’t want to be constantly negotiating over when you will have the kids in your care.
If both spouses are employed, it makes sense to come up with some means of sharing the income and dividing up the bills during your separation. It won’t do anyone any good to have your credit ratings go down the drain because you couldn’t agree who would be paying the cable bill.
Finally, it’s always a good idea to go over your concerns with an attorney experienced in divorce law before making your move. The more planning you do, the better chance you have of keeping your sanity as you go through your divorce.
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